An Emptiness Deep Down Inside
At age 23, I was a VP for JPMorgan Chase making a six figure income working on Wall Street, married, nice ride, riba home.
I had everything, Alhamdu lillah. But deep down inside there was a void. I felt if I had more, I would feel complete so I kept chasing that “more” and when I got that “more,” I still felt that emptiness deep down inside. It was never enough.
It wasn’t until years down the road I cried my heart out to Allah in 2014 to guide me. “Ya Allah! Why do I feel this way!” I cried to my Creator like I’ve never cried before, “guide me, guide me…what is my purpose here?”
It was from that point my life started to change. While waiting on kids to get off from school, I found myself at the library which I had never visited since college days or when I took kids for their books (I’m not a book enthusiast. Ironic since I own a book store).
I went straight to the Religion aisle and picked up the book, “Islam for Dummies” (lol). THIS is the book that I needed my whole life – a simple explanation of my religion. No yelling lecture from imams. No cultural rituals mixed with religion. Simple, straight forward Islam.
From that day on, I started my 5x salah. I never knew before why we were required to pray. I gradually realized that everything I was working for/stressing about up to that point will perish. And so my journey began to improve my imaan little by litte, one step at a time.
I couldn’t be happier. My heart is more content now than it ever was before. Alhamdu lillah.
Where are you in your life right now with deen – any struggles?
“Is He [not best] who responds to the desperate one when he calls upon Him…” (Qur’an, 27:62)